Especially for the Badman, the complete evil villain files as obtained from my friend at GCHQ, Mr James Bond. (Probably not meant to mention that, but he’s a regular visitor at the office as the burrow network under rabbit roundabout is directly connected via a tunnel to GCHQ, so he pops in when he’s on his way to Q Division – fascinating stuff and all very hush hush). Hopefully this dossier will help badman’s internal estate agent in the near future.

Without further ado….

1 Dr No: A Jamaican island protected by a “dragon”

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2 From Russia with Love: A heavily guarded yacht with Siamese fighting fish (especially if you have an evil kitty)

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3 Goldfinger: A schmelting verks in the swiss alps near Geneva equipped with an industrial laser.

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4 Thunderball: A beach front villa in the Bahamas, complete with shark infested swimming pool.

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5 You Only Live Twice: A hollowed out volcano somewhere near Japan

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6 On Her Majesty’s Secret Service: An allergy research center On top of a mountain in the Swiss Alps only accessible by helicopter

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7 Diamonds are Forever: The penthouse of a Las Vegas hotel and beneath the Nevada desert

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8 Live and Let Die: The back room of ‘The Fillet of Soul’ in New York, accessed via a rotating booth by the wall and an underground lair beneath a voodoo protected graveyard near New Orleans

9 The Man With The Golden Gun: An island off the coast of Phuket, Thailand with a sun ray laser thing in the top.

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10 The Spy who Loved Me: An underwater base that can float and sink at the touch of a button.

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11 Moonraker: A low earth orbit space station. Perfect for those of an off-earth arian persuasion.

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12 For Your Eyes Only: A cliff top monastery

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13 Octopussy: An island in a lake only reachable by boat powered by oarswomen.

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14 A View To A Kill: An airship, complete with staircase that becomes a slide to a trapdoor for disposing of enemies

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15 The Living Daylights: A museum to war in Tangiers

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16 Licence to kill: The Olympatec Meditation Institute. Makes a great cover for drug smugglers.

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17 Goldeneye: The Arecibo radio telescope

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18 Tomorrow Never Dies: A stealth catamaran which is perfect for an evil newspaper owner.

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19 The World is not Enough: A tiny island retreat in the bay of Istanbul, Turkey

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20 Die Another Day: A Clinic in Los Organos, Cuba

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21 Casino Royale: A retreat on the shores of Lake Garda

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22 Quantum of Solace: A hotel deep in the desert… Never can remember where this one is though.

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I’m sure there’s a residence in there to suit everyone. Happy shopping.


This post originally appeared here: Posterous

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