In conversation with Barnsey (our world famous runner and personal trainer; Good Luck with breaking the record for the Cotswold Way, by the way) last night the subject of the ‘Chunder Mile’ came up.

Now here is an interesting concept. The deal is you start by downing a pint of larger. You then run a lap of the running track (400m) and then stop and down another pint of larger. You continue in this mode for four laps then finish it off with a final pint just to settle your nerves. Sounds simple enough. Apparently the record is around the 7 minute mark. Now I like to think I can have a few drinks with the best of them.

After some deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that for this event I’d hardly be able to drink the 5 pints in 7 minutes let alone run 4x400m as well. Barnsey is very keen to get us all involved. Us, on the other hand, remain to be convinced.

It’s not helped by the ‘little stories’ he related to us concerning last years event. Things like ‘Some people were throwing up at the first bend – it’s the gassy larger you see’ and ‘Most people take a while to recover. Like a day or two’ – hmmmm. I think I could watch, but I’d struggle to run for the bus to be fair. It’s not that I’m a bad runner – I could actually run for the bus and am occasionally seen running the odd 4 or 5k in the neighbourhood (when I’m on a health kick). No the problem is that I’m just not designed to be a runner.

When the basic survival skills for cavemen (which in all honesty we’ve superseded) were dished out, I didn’t get the running /spear chucking ones. Instead I’m the one in the cave drawing up the “this is how we’re going to catch a mammoth” plan on the wall. As I always say “Up here for thinking (points at head), down there for dancing (points at crotch)”

All things considered I think I’ll sit the chunder mile out this year, but I might come along for immoral support – and perhaps intelligence gathering fir next years cave paintings.

Advertisements