WoW. So I managed to survive a week of unecessary stress and shenanigans at Starfleet and am now celebrating the fact having convieniently arranged five days holiday. Yipeee! OK, so there is a little more to it than that – I don’t just take holiday willy-nilly you know – there are things that need to be done.

Let’s start with yesterday. That was L’s 40th birthday (she of Wiltshire) and to mark this special occasion, A has put a big tent (well a marquee) up in the garden (well grounds of the estate) and is holding something of a party (well piss-up) all through the night tonight. This means certain death for at least 10 brain cells and some long term recovery for whichever of my currently healthy kidney’s is still remaining after the event.

It also means Mrs G and I have a trip to Chelter’s to do a little gift shopping and pick up some fresh coffee (Mr Badman will be pleased). I’ve got to go to Chelter’s for it, as the Gloucester City Chamber of Commerce and the head of Whittards have yet to receive a letter from me suggesting they open a store within walking distance of my front door….. I digress.

So to make the travel arrangements that tad more complicated, Mrs G has arranged to meet her friend from her previous job for lunch. The fact that daughter didn’t include Mrs G on her car insurance when she renewed it (purely an oversight) has made this a logistical hassle resulting in me having to take public transport back from Chelter’s while Mrs G lauds it up in the roadster with her mate. It’s too complicated and frankly boring to explain.

As I’ve said before, the problem with public transport is that its for the, ermm, public. One isn’t a fan of having to mingle with them, but one must do one’s best to help lower one’s carbon footprint don’t-cha-know. 🙂 I’m actually looking firward to it in an adventuring kinda way. More of that in a mo.

First though – breakfast! Unbeknown to me, British Home Stores (BHS to you and me, I mean how pretentious to think that all of britain’s household goods would come from a single store! They must have had their eye on Harrods when they came up with that little gem) (get on with it!! – Ed). As I was saying, BHS do a mean 5 piece breakfast for a shocking 99p!!! (when you buy a hot drink) and not bad it is too.

Post breaking the fast, a short cut through “House of Fraser” (he wasn’t in) led to me buying a new shirt, then into Waterstones, the book shop. The important thing about Waterstones is we have to know in advance exactly what we’re going in there to buy. If not, it’s entirely possible we could dissapear for days at a time. It’s dangerous because we’re both bibliophiles (no you can’t get arrested for that – yet) and find browsing the myriad of books almost as much fun as reading them. 3 days later…a few more bits and bobs and then Mrs G and I parted company (such sweet sorrow) while she went off to meet her friend for lunch and I went in search of the golden bus. (Golden bus?? Ed)

Cheltenham and Gloucester recently invested in some new buses for the 94 route which appear to be made of gold!…


…and leather…


Now this really is over the top for what extensibly is just a bus but then I suppose this is no ordinary bus. This is a Cheltenham bus, specifically designed to make the poor people of Gloucester realiase just how poor they are!! Personally, I love ’em. What’s more, mine was almost empty (at least upstairs in which I consider to be first class).

I am clearly wrong about this point, which was only made more evident when some mouthy bint got on at one of the stops from a part of town that Cheltenham wishes wasn’t. She tried to use some dodgy bus pass and the driver ended up in a slanging match with her. After some raised voices and some choice language on her part, she paid and clomped up the stairs while singing the driver’s praises in some of the oldest English I’ve heard in a while (and not approriate for the dinner table – or indeed any table – except perhaps a table in a brothel – thankyou: Edmund Blackadder). This waste of good breathing air then decided to avail me of the sh1t collection of music on her mobile phone. How very gracious of her. And that, in a nutshell is why public transport is for the public…. It might be the nicest looking bus in the world, but that doesn’t stop the pikeys and the to$$ers getting on board.

Taxi for Mr Ball !!

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